i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
