i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
