Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
