His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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