and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
