i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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