what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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