oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
