My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
