kristin has been a bad kristin
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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