your room smells of hookers.
And success
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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