I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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