hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
