if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
