Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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