plz talk dirty to me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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