I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
