insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
