Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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