# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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