I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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