Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You work out of a Hotel?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
