well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
