she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
