I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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