there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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