you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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