P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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