If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
