yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We named our party play list daddy issues
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
