No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
