i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I want to be your penis for a week.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Pooping to opera.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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