oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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