Cold hands, warm shart.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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