We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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