Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
