and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
