i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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