if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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