nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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