i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
