He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Shame - the story of my life.
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