i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
