he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Randomize
