it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
