Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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