Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
