I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
