This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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