marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
