If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
