There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
