Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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