Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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