All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
