I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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